The first medicinal marijuana dispensary opened in Tucson earlier this month:
A day for the history books as Tucson’s first medical marijuana dispensary now is open. The opening comes two years after Arizona voters legalized medical marijuana.
The dispensary is located on the southwest corner of Broadway and Kolb on Tucson’s east side. Our cameras captured patients and caregivers going inside to pre-register.
It was indeed a day for history books since those books will probably be banned by John Pedicone soon, which is doubly unfortunate because of the short-term memory loss.
I drove around Tucson yesterday, not even a month after this Den of Satan had emerged to offer its stickiest icky ganja, Devil’s Weed.
As the warning poster on the right shows, let the right-wing conservatives be vindicated as this year’s usually tame and holy New Year’s Eve celebration turns into a Sodom and Gomorrah filled with Debauchery and Vice, with lots of Sin to go around passed midnight.
Nevermind that those smoking probably already passed out and it’s the drunk ones still up fornicated with every orifice of their bodies; alcohol is good remember?
Heck it was the first miracle that Jesus performed, after three days of partying at a wedding, and after all the jugs of wine had been drunk, the drunkards wanted even more wine and turned to no less than the Virgin Mother of God, who then commanded her child to make more alcohol so that the drunkenness could continue!
How ironic that the best cannabis is actually from the most Virgin of the plants, since it is the female plants that you want and the trick is to keep them chaste since it is their sexual organs that produce the high… you must keep them ready at all times but deny them so that they produce the most female juices just crying out to be fertilized, nice and gooey and hairy but to no avail.
These buds must be kept Virgin and holy to achieve the highest state of awareness.
Why would people need this all-natural plant when students can buy alternatives such as “Spice” legally already?
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Sure enough, marijuana is indeed the gateway drug!
No matter which direction I left my house in, I could find drug dealers on every corner selling speed and opium legally, just as marijuana now is.
I drove north and right there, right across the street from the TMC hospital was a drug store from the street gang known as “Chicanos, Vatos, and Spaniards” or CVS for short, on the southside.
I headed south and ran into one of the biggest street gangs from the Green Wall area of town, known on the street as the “Wall-greens.” They were also staking a claim to the hospital, trying to get the sick even sicker with their opiates to numb away the pain that the Lord God had given them to atone for the sins of the world.
If Jesus could suffer, then so can you!
Even more disturbing was that these street gangs had infiltrated the University of Arizona and set up their own shop right by the stadium. They were giving out speed and meth to students faster than anyone could keep up, giving them cute names and claiming it could help with their studies, just take “Add-EmAll” for math or “Writ-aLin” for writing those term papers.
This was still straight up meth that we were giving them!
The first one was straight up a combination of Dextroamphetamine and Amphetamine, double the amphetamines to amp them up, and the second one being Methylphenidate, a form of meth that was even given to young kids because they prefer to run and play outside rather than sit behind a desk and do homework when they are 6 years old.
Even all the stores were filled with drugs, from the grocery stores with their own drug department, to convenience stores with plenty of caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine to keep you going, not to mention all the drugs known as OTCs that were available, and a whole counter filled with 5-hour buzzes in shot form for your convenience.
We should never have opened up that one medical marijuana store because that one store has now become thousands of stores selling much more dangerous drugs, all legally too.
To fix this problem we should fill the jails with minorities that get caught with joints… maybe that will send a strong message to the CVS and Wall-Greens drug cartels that here in the USA, we say NO to Drugs!
As you flee from these Sodom and Gomorrahs, don’t look back, or else you might turn into a pillar of bath salts, and it is rumored that this is the stuff that flesh-eating zombies are born from.