Arizona schools leader bans Black History Month lessons as form of Ethnic Studies

As Black History Month enters its second week in Arizona schools, today State Superintendent John Huppenthal was joined by Attorney General Tom Horne at a press conference declaring all Black History Month lessons banned in Arizona.

John Huppenthal's last stand...

John Huppenthal’s last stand…

“Under ARS 15-112, the same statute used to ban the anti-American Mexican American Studies classes in Tucson, the power is given to one sole white man in charge of the schools, and anything he finds uncomfortable or does not agree with cannot be taught. Thus it is hereby declared that all Black History month lesson are banned as a form of Ethnic Studies which has already been cleansed from the state.

Black History Month lessons are a clear violation of subsections:

  • b) Promote resentment of a race or class of people
  • c) Are designed primarily for pupils of a particular ethnic group
  • d) Advocate ethnic solidarity instead of the treatment of pupils as individuals.

As was evidenced by the Daily Show segment featuring master ethnic cleanser Michael Hicks from the TUSD school board who whitewashed their history and literature classes, there is no way to teach about the atrocities of slavery without promoting resentment towards a race of class of people.

Furthermore, in the state of Arizona which has a growing white supremacist population, the harsh reminders of reliving what the South lost during its glory days will only promote fellow TEA Party members to overthrow the US government, which has already been advocated on right-wing shows on Fox News, another violation of this statute.

Creating a curriculum that focuses solely on the contributions of solely a bunch of negroes is another example of racism that this state will not tolerate. Instead, students should be taught positive lessons about American History as taught by Michelle Bachman who says the founding fathers fought tirelessly to end slavery, or John Huppenthal who says slave-owning Benjamin Franklin was not a racist.

Abraham Lincoln once grabbed a bunch of sticks together into a bundle and said that united we stand, which means that if we treat all minority students as individuals instead of being part of a group, like the Sabino Young Republicans, then we relieve these tired brown folks from having to stand all day.

Furthermore, why are we even teaching about the Civil Rights movement when it clearly advocates ethnic solidarity when what we want is division and separate treatment of Americans as individuals, including second-class treatment of immigrants who give so much to this country, but did not jump through the hoops that white men imposed on them. As a result of the geographical location of their mother’s vagina when they emerged from the womb, they must be linked to this moment of birth for eternity, with the exception of Tom Horne and Justin Bieber, good Canadian immigrants who respect the rule of law.”

Tom Horne

Tom Horne interjected at this point to say that just as Huppenthal promised to “Stop La Raza” in his last campaign for office, this year he will also be promising to “Stop The Negroes.”

“As someone who attended the MLK march back in the 1960s, we want all people to be treated the same in Arizona, except for anyone whose skin is so dark as to be reasonably suspicious. Plus, I keep telling law enforcement to take me to jail for my own violations of the law, but they refuse to because I am a powerful white male. I want to be treated as minorities are, so it is not my fault that the entire system allows me to get away with my shenanigans.”

He added, as my Latina girlfriend Carmen would say, breaking the law “es eesy”, which I translate as “SEC.”

After being called racist by multiple organizations, Huppenthal and Horne agreed.

“Yeah, you are right. We could never promise to Stop the Jews or Stop the Negros, but Stopping La Raza gets you reelected in post-SB1070 Arizona. Just kidding about this whole Black History Month banning thing; we will continue to only target Latinos in Tucson. In the meantime, we will be guest speakers in TUSD’s African American history class this month.